The consequence of your actions, will fit my satisfactions. So if you wanna talk shit, you'll end up in a casket.
Thursday November 19, 2009. Jason Derulo-Whatcha Say.

This week has been nothing but total shit so far, Tuesday James had to be put back into the hospital for awhile. With him moving into my house and the weather changing it was a little too much on his body all at once. He was getting short of breath and needed to use the O2 tanks instead of his Bipap and the Oxygan Concentrator. It wasn't doing much for him at the time, so when he woke up he was feeling like shit big time. So needless to say he will be in the hospital for Thanksgiving which it aint a big deal at all. He is starting to feel some what better but it's too soon to tell what will happen yet. His bipap oxygan level is on 70 but normal for him is 50. So maybe in the next few days he will be down and wont need it that high. We shall wait and see what happens, James is a stubben bastard so he will keep fighting. <3

Moving on to Tuesday night after i got home from the hospital, my so called "friend" wanted me to call her. As we are talking she goes ino how i am not to call or text her unless it is on certin days and times because her girlfriend gets mad when anyone talks to her at all. Now this is bullshit, i've known her for about seven years now and she wants to pull this grimy shit? I don't fucking think so hell no! Then when i say fine if your girlfriend who you've known for like two weeks now means more then seven years with me then i wont talk to you anymore. I am sick of playing kid games with her, i am twenty three years old and she is nine-teen, this aint grade school we aint picking sides for kick ball here. So i told her i was going to delete her girlfriend off myspace and she goes no keep her on your list because then it's going to start drama for me if you delete her. Am i to even care what happens when you just threw our friendship away yet again. Sorry but you are kicked off this island without a life jacket. Buh-Bye now.

Wednesday was pretty shitty due to nurses who can't mind their own business. I believe it is against the law and also against Albany Med policy to give out patient information to anyone. I guess miss fake bitch nurse missed the memo because she gave out James information via facebook. It's once thing when i am having a conversation with someone and say hey James is in so so room for blah blah, but it is another when a nurse who is working by the way goes out of her way to post full on details to things in which she knows nothing about i might add. Not only that had the nerve to correct what i had said to the other person in MY conversation. Which that pissed me off because she posted this info with out asking but it's whatever bitches are fake and dumb. What gets James and I mad is the fact she posted this but didn't even stop in to see him once. What a whorebag! I'm glad i aint friends with her and never was. Stupid cunt.

Today just topped the whole week off, rent-a-bitch called James bitching because she heard third-hand he was in the hospital and wasn't told first. I am in no way responsible nor obligated to let her know anything that is going on with him. She is not his mother in any type of way, he isn't family at all. So what logic she has behind this no one knows but i really don't care. Then she has to top it with oh I would of brough you in Monday if something was wrong. What are you fucking kidding me? I believe your lying ass is. This is the same bitch who made him wait two days to take him to the hospital and this was after the fact she knew what was wrong. I brought him in as soon as i knew something was wrong when he told me. Everything with her is away to make me look bad even when it comes to his health. So i'm praying she comes to the hospital so i can tell the bitch off to her face seeing all she can do is talk behind my back. When the fuck will people learn to grow up?


Nicole, Monique, James, Zanna, Mel.

I can't stand it here, I don't have room to breathe and no one can seem to see that.
Monday November 09, 2009. Flyleaf-Breathe Today

I feel horrible inside because of all the drama that has been going on. James is stuck in the middle of it because some people do not wish to act like adults at all. He's going to be twenty-three in less then two months and rent-a-bitch along with a few others act as if he is stupid and wont see what is going on around him. No they like to pretend he has the judgement of a five year old who knows nothing. He's not a moron who is out in the woods with no flash light, in fact he is well aware at how they are trying to split us apart. If it wasn't bad enough they would come up with lame excues to why he could't come over, now they are going too far t making it about Thanksgiving and Christmas too. I fully understand he wants to go back so he can see Ethen and Nico, it don't bother me at all i'm glad he cares about them enough too. Truth being told i am just upset at the fact Rent-A-Bitch is faking how she feels and cares. Not even a week ago she makes a comment to my fiancee saying she knows i am not coming over for Christmas then two days ago had he nerve to ask if i was for Thanksgiving. Umm i think someone has been on crack for a little too long here don't you think? Please do not act like you care after all the stuff you have pulled on me. That is a total insult to not only mine but to James intelligence as well.

I'm beating myself up thinking it's all my fault they out casted me from the start and i mean the moment i started talking to him. Which really wasn't fair but i don't care to know why no longer. It just hurts because in the end so many people are being stuck into this when it should never have happen in the first place. I had a conversion yesterday morning with James saying how it bothers me i wont ever met Ethen at all. I am going to be his aunt one day so yes i would like to meet him and have a relationship with him atleast. Not this oh i am going to marry your uncle type crap. I want him to know who i am, yes he is only six months old but still not the point. How do i have a relationship with Ethan and not have him draged into all the needless bullshit? Ethan is more then welcome to stay here for a night it's just how without Rent-A-Bitch being selfish starting crap or using it as a way to step inside my home to be disrespectful? I am sorry wait no i am not sorry, this is my home where i sleep and get away from her. I have all rights to say no you can't come in, besides that everytime i was at her home i was never once disrespectfull and i sure has hell have many people who can vouch for me on that, but got nothing but attitudes and hate from her. So why open my door and be nice when i didn't get it in the first place?

Oblivesly this is going to be my first holidays with James but sadly i may not even get the chance to be with him at all. If rent-a-bitch has it her way, we are going to get split up for them both. Once again thanks to all of her nonsense she is dividing him between the "family" and me. Not only that she is making it look like a choose or lose game. It isn't fair she does this crap too him, as much as i want him with me i am not going to make him pick nor tell him he has to do anything. Yes i am going to be very hurt i will have to spend the holidays alone but i don't wanna be a fiancee who makes your man choose her over his "family". That shit isn't cool and i don't roll like that. I just don't see how the out come of any thing rent-a-bitch is doing wont hurt me in the end. How can u dislike someone so much you never took the time to know? Your going that far into your hate to take us away from once again when it counts.

James is the most important person in my life and no one not even her is going to take that away from me. I grew up alot since i been with him and i learned things about myself. Not only myself but i learned alot about him and what he goes through. I aint going to sugar coat his life and say it hasn't been rough or sucked. He has it hard with always going to the doctors and making sure he takes his meds. Listen i aint looking for no one to feel bad for us or be sorry so save it we don't need it. All i am saying is we have something special with one another, something most people spend their entire lifes looking for, we found it and it's amazing. I never knew i could love some one as much as i do with him but the love he gives me back is better then anything else in this world. I will do anything to make him happy and put a smile on his face at any coast. James is my heart and soul so except that or move on already.

**SHOUT OUT** Nicole thank you for my cute layout it looks amazing. Thank you so much also for my desktop as well. We both love it lots! =-]



Nicole, Monique,James.

Your about as intimidating as a teddy surrounded by marshmellows.
Tuesday November 03, 2009. All Time Low-Break Out.

Where do i even begin to start on how stupid the human race truely is. It makes me sick to my stomach how poorly James gets treated by his so called family and people who claim to be his friends. They put on this show infront of him act like they care how he is doing, yet behind his back act like he is nothing more but a piece of shit, a rent check and a babysitter. Wow Rent-A-Bitch is at it once more with this crap --> "I care about you, I want what's best for you and if it makes you happy then i am happy" but yet never once came to see him when he was in the hospital last month? Saying "I miss you were thinking of you" but yet couldn't call him once to see how he was or just to say hi? How the hell can you call your self a mother to him when you treat him like he is nothing. Then have the balls to tell his nurse it was my fault he broke his hand back in August that i made him do it i was on the phone with him? Wow what bullshit and lies. I know you want me out of his life but to go this far is just petty shit on your part.

I am over Rent-A-Bitch judging me for no reason at all, who died and named her Jesus Christ? I would love to met that person so i can punch them in the face a few times followed by WTF WERE YOU THINKING! All she does is talk really nasty about me as if she has something to prove. Are you that jealous you are not first in his life anymore? I mean you hate me so much and know zero about me. Thank you once again for making me the center of your attention my ego sure has been hungry ^_^. Honestly i do not see where all this hate is even coming from but whatever i am so done with you As for the so called friends of James oh my god each and everyone of you can kick fucking bricks. Don't add me to facebook or myspace anymore. You are all the fakest group of people i have ever met in my life. How the hell can you say were friends yet you never once spoke to me or even at that talk to me but can go up to my husband to be and ask him all about me? Why don't you get your thumb out your ass and ask me yourself!

I really do not get if she is just pure evil or just on crack. With James being out of the hospital alot of things has been said that have me in question of "wait whhaaa"! She came out of nowhere i guess and made the choice to play 20 questions with my soon to be husband. From what i understand and was told the following was said and took place, Rent-A-Bitch asked James for last months and this months rent money, said, she would wait a few for this months but wants last months seeing he was in the hospital and she could not get it. Well james told her his card wasn't working (which it wasn't) idk what else was said about rent. After that she said So whens the wedding date "inquiring minds" want to know (when really she is trying to get info like a nosey bitch) James said he didn't know we really havn't talked about it and she said well i want to know.

Meanwhile James is looking at her thinking to himself "why your not going we don't want you there" Then goes with all the time SHE (because you know i don't have a name after all) spends with you in the hospital it's a matter of time before you move out and in with HER (because once again i have no name) at this point James is just looking at her like she is on crack then Rent-A-Bitch says I am not as stupid as I look i know your going to move out. James is just thinking you are stupid wow (he was moving out as she was talking to him lmfao) So being the cunt she is Rent-A-Bitch has to top it all off with saying "I know SHE (i have no name >_<) isn't going to come over here for christmas so i am going to take you off the list. James is by far lost at this one like umm ok just because she don't want to come over means your kicking me away? He tells her he is still coming and what a shock Rent-A-Bitch fakes being happy about it. In the middle of talking he just goes I'm out and leaves the house comes here and i laughed at what took place.

James and I are fed up with all you judgemental assholes who find it so easy to down us on our relationship before you even see how it truely is between us. We happen to be in love not fairly tale love but real love. James is happy with me and i am beyond happy with him, he makes me laugh all the time and i make him smile. Don't say i can't take care of him when i am the only one who even bothers to go to the hospital to be with him, when i am the one who makes him eat, atleast i care that he does and when he don't, i make sure he takes his meds and checks his sugar. I make him do treatments and do his chest pt when asked. How do i not know how to take care of him at all? Why because i aint got money coming out of my ass? I always felt that money wasn't everything but being with someone you truely love is what counts and matters. I can get him to the hospital and back when he needs to be. So what now? Want to try thinking of a better way to say stupid shit because you got nothing on me. If you can not accpet us being together then you do not get to have no kind of opinion at all!

{edit}For anyone who didn't see it before this is what my engagement ring loooks like. keep in mind it looks better in person then in pictures, It's 10k white gold diamond and aquamarine **my birthstone** engagement ring. Also my baby just got this for me for christmas but gave it to me early. It's got the March **me** and January **James** birthstone in it and on the sides says my name and his.{/edit}



Angie, James, Nikki, Natalie

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