I just feel complete when you're by my side.
Friday September 18, 2009. 
Jeremih-Imma Star.
Let me start off by saying this blog is not directed towards anybody. First of all people need to understand that my life alone comes with many ups that are followed by it's downs. Sometimes the downs tend to over shadow the good and things look way worse then they are. Second I am a very sweet person who has a big caring heart but i do have an awful violence side to me when i get too angry. Realize that the things i say out of being angry are things i would never mean and just feel at that moment in time. I am not perfect in anyway and i do my share of asshole things. When i am wrong i will be the first one to speak up and call my self out. I will own up to my mistakes and try my hardest to fix them.
For the past few weeks alot of drama has been going on that i would just like to clear up right now. Yes i am in fact engaged to James and I have been so since August 1. I am in no way going to be leaving him anytime soon. The fighting that has been going on is being caused by nosey people who like to butt in other peoples business like immature high school kids. If you are not being asked for your opinion then keep it to yourself. I do not go around passing judgemeant on your "relationships" so don't do it on mine. Unless your my bestfriend or someone i care about then what you think wont even make it in one ear to go out the other. For all of you who try to come between us it wont happen so just knock it the fuck off already. What we have is so much more then what you think and realize.
I am not going to sit here lie and say I don't love him with all my heart and everything that I have. Yes we fight and we don't always agree but what couple does? None of this changes how i feel about him deep down. Stop trying to make my mind up for me. My heart knows what i truly want and that is James and only him. We love each other so much and would do anything for one another. No one see's how amazing he can be to me and how much he really does make me smile. He really is a great guy once you get to know him or if you took the time too you would see it. I love him to death is nothing and no one will change that ever!
A friend once told me "if you can't make it past the bad things you don't deserve the good at all" and i fully believe that. I refuse to end an amazing relationship with my other half just because of stupid people want to talking and put there half ass sence in when they know nothing about anything at all. Why should i give up everything i had to fight for and love that i deserve with him when the bullshit going on is neither mine nor his fault? Face it he is not going anywhere no time soon nor am I, we are a huge part of each others lives, and a huge part of who each other is. Understand that or just don't it really doesn't matter to me no longer. Things between him and i are no longer going to be messed up beause people want to be jerks. No one gets to say how my relationship works no one but him and i.
I get that he goes through alot of things him self with having Cystic Fibrosis, knowing he has to be on Oxygen all the time but that doesn't mean he has to live a sheltered life away from the world. Yes his life is crazy with having to always go to the doctors, being in and out of the hospital so much but who ever said that meant he couldn't be happy? That he had to look down on life and everything that is yet to happen or come? No one gets to have that decision but him alone. James gets to decide who he wants in his life, when he wants them in it and not only that he gets to decide who is by his side through everything that goes on with him. I mean i've stuck by him so much in the past six months, spent weeks in the hospital so he could have someone who cared by his side. I aint going to let some rent-a-mom who uses people tell me that I can't be by him or be with him at all. LET HIM MAKE HIS OWN DAMN MIND UP GOSH!
Stephanie, Nicole">,Angie,Zanna,Ocean,Nastia